Deck The Halls
by K. Vermilya
Summary: A tale of laughter and excitement at the Annual Death Eater Christmas party....
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE** **– **I kinda liked this one, but I wasn't sure if I should do any more chapters. If you would like more to this, let me know, otherwise it is staying how it is. )

The graveyard was decorated nicely. There were beautiful red ribbons and precious bows on every headstone. If one would walk through, they would find the place uncharacteristically serene, with the exception of the "kick me over" sign taped to the grave of Tom Riddle Sr.

Gold baubles hung magically from the air, and fairy lights twinkled in the moonlight. Even the group of Death Eaters sitting on blankets in a circle was singing merrily. Wait—Death Eaters?!

Yes, 'tis true. A few familiar faces: McNair, Malfoy, Lestrange, Crabbe, Goyle, Avery; all together chatting away and swaying as if one were playing "Cumbayah". And then there were the copious amounts of eggnog and rum.

A chill sliced through this happy scene as a dark robed figure emerged out of the mist. Voldemort had arrived late—fashionably so. He approached his caucus of followers haughtily.

"Well? Don't sit there like a bunch of decapitated house-elves!"

No one stirred. They were unsure what the Dark Lord wanted them to do.

"…Somebody get me a Santa hat!"

Wormtail shrieked with glee-or maybe he had just wet himself, as he rushed to pull an extra hat from the box full of party favors.

Voldemort donned the festive cap, looking surprisingly like Donny Osmond, as the Death Eaters shifted over and made room for their evil – albeit ridiculous looking- leader.

--

It wasn't long before every single one of them was drunk, each tilting to one side, or falling over, or already asleep, drooling on the ground. Lucius Malfoy had unwrapped a pair of wool pajamas – with lightning bolts on them- that he had gotten in the gift exchange, from his secret Santa.

"Severus!" Lucius emitted in a voice that was higher than normal, and a lot less stable. "Narcissa won't let me in bed for a week if I ever wear these around the house."

"Narcissa doesn't let you in bed anyway!"

Everyone turned and stared at Voldemort, who had never cracked a joke in his pathetic life. After a moment's hesitation, the followers all burst in to cackles.

"Yeah," started another, "Draco probably isn't even your child!" More raucous laughter.

" In fact I bet Narcissa is even cheating on you right now… with…with that Aberforth guy!"

Dead silence. It had appeared that Avery had gone too far.

A couple of Death Eaters coughed.

"Anyway… okay Master, open your gift." The evening tension was broken by Lucius, who was eager to see Voldemort's reaction to the gift Snape had gotten him. Voldemort grabbed the present like a giddy schoolboy and tore open the Harry Potter wrapping paper. It was heavy - a book. He flipped it over to read the title, and groaned when he read the first words.

"The Idiot's Guide to Capturing and Thus Killing A Seventeen-Year-Old Boy Who Should Have Been Easily Defeated Sixteen Years Ago? Why, Severus, you shouldn't have." Nervous laughter spread amongst the crowd.

"No…really. You shouldn't have."

Silence.

Silence.

"I'm just kidding guys, loosen up!" Voldemort started laughing himself, and after a few intense seconds, the rest of the party followed suit.

The rest of the evening was fun and merry; there was more drinking, a couple of party games, more present swapping, and even more drinking. It came to a point where only three people were still awake, and then things got…sticky…

Lucius, Voldemort, and Snape were gathered together, sharing a single blanket by the small fire Severus had conjured. "So, Lucius, Truth or Dare?"

Being as Voldemort was a very accomplished legilimens, no one wanted to take their chance with Truth. However, being as Voldemort was also the most evil wizard of their time, no one wanted to take their chance with Dare either.

But a game was not a game if no one played.

"Um. Dare."

"All right," said Voldemort, rubbing his white hands together, "I dare you… to go kiss Goyle while he is sleeping."

"Are you crazy! That's disgusting. Especially Goyle. Can I kiss Avery instead?"

Snape giggled. "No, a dare is a dare!"

Lucius sighed and tiptoed over to where Goyle was sleeping. He crouched down on his knees and got close to Goyle's face. "This is so wrong," he whispered to himself. He bent down. His lips were parted. He was about to commit a horrifying task.

Goyle rose and attacked Lucius. His body moved forward, continuing to be lifted into the air. Then a loud snore erupted from him. Lucius looked over angrily at Voldemort. His wand was raised, and he was laughing. "Got you, got you!" He shouted. Goyle dropped back to the ground, obviously still sound asleep. Wingardium Leviosa had its bad moments.

"No more funny business!" Lucius yelled at the pair. He quickly planted a light kiss on Goyle's face and ran back to the huddle.

"Okay, Severus, you're turn! You're turn!" Voldemort exclaimed.

"Truth or Dare?" Lucius asked.

Snape knew a thing or two about Occlumency.

"Hmm…truth."

Lucius and Voldemort whispered to each other. After minutes of hushed discussion, a gleam came to Lucius's eye.

"What is your middle name?"

Snape became very panicked. He glanced around nervously, to make sure everyone else was really asleep.

He mumbled something faintly.

"What's that, Severus?"

More mumbling.

"We can't here you, Snapey."

"PATTY! OKAY? IT'S PATTY!"

Voldemort and Lucius erupted into fits of hysterics. They could not control themselves. Voldemort was laughing so hard, he fell over, and began to roll on the ground, pounding his fists. After a few minutes, he pulled himself together, and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Lucius made a coughing noise, "Potions Patty!"

The laughter started over again.

"VOLDEMORT, YOUR TURN! TRUTH OR DARE?" Snape shouted over the roaring fit.

After he calmed down for the second time, he answered, "Truth."

"Okay then… what is the most played song on your iPod?"

"You wouldn't…."

"Oh, but I did."

Lucius looked back and forth from Snape to Voldemort, wondering what could have caused the Dark One to go silent and have a look of horror on his face.

"Do tell. You must. I did."

"It's… um…"

"Yes?"

"Every Time We Touch… by Cascada…"

Snape and Lucius roared with laughter. They laughed into the morning, until Voldemort decided to put a Langlock curse on them.

After several hours, the drinking got to them, and they each fell asleep, still huddled together, underneath the midnight blue blanket.

--


	2. Chapter 2

It was a little past noon when the Death Eaters slowly began to wake and stretch

It was a little past noon when the Death Eaters slowly began to wake and stretch. A small group was gathered around the queer sight of three usually menacing men huddled together- sleeping by the fire. McNair used the tip of his shoe to nudge Lucius awake. He yawned. "Wh-wh-what time is it?" He had a pounding, splitting headache.

"Noon, precious."

"Precious? Wha-" And then he noticed the blanket covering himself and followed it until he saw the slouched figures of Severus and Voldemort also sharing it's warmth. He stood up spontaneously and brushed himself off.

"Nothing happened. You saw nothing. I … I was only trying to…. I…." But it was useless.

Voldemort stirred.

"Snape? Is that you? Move over, you're hogging the covers." He turned on his side and nodded back to sleep. Giggles erupted through the Death Eaters.

It was not a pleasant sight whatsoever. The Death Eaters had to do something.

A whisper rippled amongst them.

"Get the whipped cream. And a bowl of hot water. Make that two."

Goyle ran off to fetch the supplies.

Lucius stood to the side, leaning against a headstone. He had a pounding, blinding, side splitting headache. With a lurch, he ducked down and vomited in a clearing.

_Crack._ Goyle was back with the goods. They made quick work of publicly humiliating the two sleeping victims. A glorious white foam crown decorated Snape's head. Voldemort's hand was put in the bowl of hot water. Not to soon after, a reaction happened…. If you know what I mean. The next step was waking them without incriminating themselves. Crabbe tickled Snape's nose with a feather. He swatted at it and his hand landed in the whipped cream. Then, as he felt his face, the cream smudged all over his features, and he woke to the retreating backs and giggles of six hooded men.

"What the-? Aw, Grawp!"

When Voldemort heard the cuss word, he lifted his head, blinking into the sun, "What a lovely day. I'm all warm all over. I've never felt like that before…" Then he looked down. Oops.

When Voldie looked at Severus, he realized that he was not losing control of his bladder, someone had played a trick on them.

"Which way did they go?"

Severus pointed. Lucius was still curled up behind the gravestone.

A green light illuminated the entire cemetery. Thuds.

The only three left breathing were Lucius, Severus, and Voldemort.

"That'll show them!" Voldemort said as he dusted off his hands and went back to sleep.


End file.
